| thoughts |
[Nov. 1st, 2008|01:09 pm] |
wow its been awhile since I last posted in here.
Well I didn't get the job. They gave it to an asshole that has more experience than I, but I had better results in a shorter time span. Either way, I gave it a shot, and tried. So no DC.
Its the first day of November, this year had completely flown by. Everyone always told me that after school your life seems to speed up. Now I believe them. Almost a year ago I was graduating. I think about how crazy my life has been in 2008 and it makes me think...what else is coming? there have been so many situations I never thought I would make it through and here I am, standing tall and proud.
It's almost my birthday... big 25. I think this will be the quietest yet. No plans for the Pony or another strip club...all I want to do is go to the aquarium and get a nice dinner somewhere. Which made me realize that I have calmed down 120%. I no longer want to go out and party it up, I dont want to even drink anymore. It makes me tired sometimes or it makes me a crazy loud drunk bitch. Either way..I sober it out. I watch everyone else "have fun" at these clubs and wish I were somewhere quiet with a warm drink having a great conversation, listening to low music that doesn't suck my soul out my ears; ie not drum and bass. Why do clubs/bars play the musuc at such a defening volume? It distorts my sences and I get angry.
Call it what you want, I see it as though I have burned myself out of going out hanging out with drunks and worring about how everyone is getting home.
Anyone else obssessed with this election? I am. It's not healthy. At work we share videos and funny stuff, but inside I really am holding my breathe for the 5th. I pray to any and all gods that O'bama wins. This country is in such a bad place. Whereever I go, I hear people talking polictics. All ages, colors, and even some drunks talk about it in any social setting. My ADD hones right in and listens to their conversations...I cant stop learning about how people are dealing with the issues. Every person has the right to think whatever way they want to about FACTS, but that sis the problem...must people dont know the facts. I find myself looking for the different ways that CNN, FOX, MSNBC, and the AP talk about the same incident. All bias all BS until you get to someone with a full video...than its all out. It is so sad that all levels of elected officials lie lie lie about things they JUST said than the video comes out and everyone knows they lied...does anyone call it? Only a few journalists do...Keep your eyes open people...
John...my love. The best guy I have met that walks this Earth and I am having doubts. What is wrong with me? Am I scared of that third step...moving in together. I've always just jumped into that without htining, so caught up in "love". SO much so that I lost the ability to look objectivly at a situation. Now I've learned from these mistakes, and I over analyze anything. We talk about marriage, kids, even went ring shopping once and I am having doubts about us. Actually its me...there are so many things I want to do still and if things progress I can't just up and do them.
I want to go bck to school next fall for my MBA
I will get out of GEORGIA
and I can't go out of state for school if we get engaged. It would hurt too much
and with all the emotions and stress we went through with my interviews in DC, I know going through that again would not be good for him. He has so much going here.
blah i could write for years.....maybe another day |
|
|
| hello DC |
[Aug. 31st, 2008|11:07 am] |
so seems I'm doing good at work. My name was mentioned for a new position in WASHINGTON DC. I talked to John about it and he wants to go with me. He has a friend that moved there from Atlanta last year, so we have a roommate that I could actually live with. The only thing now is finding a place ohhhhhhhh and finding John a job, and MOVING AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its a 15K raise, but that doesn't mean much in DC. SO many thoughts are going through my head. Do I go, do I stay? Where will we live? OMG its expensive!!! OMG learning a new city, subway system, way of life.
I have been looking for places online, but I guess I just need to get up there and look. I interview with my would be boss and the VP of our government sales wing next week. I'm hoping to get that scheduled for Friday so I can stay with Jim (friend in DC) and check out places.
The job would be a pre-sales role with our civilian government sales. The market is strong even though the economy sucks in the public sector. The government needs new technology and better people working in every single government office around this county in all 50 states. This is the opportunity we have. I have sales experience with this company and I now have post sales customer service experience. They would be stupid to go with someway. else. Even if this happens my name is out there and another position will come my way I have no doubt in that. |
|
|
| well Hello! |
[Aug. 6th, 2008|10:34 pm] |
So it's been a YEAR since I wrote in here.
Damn!
Well I graduated twice.
Got a job right out of school with Careerbuilder.com in their sales department. Did that from January to April. I hated the job. OMG cold calling, getting hung up on, the satisfaction of getting a sale. Developing a relationship with an employer, learning how they recruit. Yea that was the job. The first two parts killed the rest. The company is GREAT! Benefits, perks, and environment are modern and young!
Well I interviewed for a different position within the company and started in April. I am now an Account Manager with the Government sector. My team is only three people, two guys that have been friends for years and currently room mates. They are both sarcastic assholes, but I dish it right back. So needless to say I had to earn their respect to be in the team.
State and Local government offices in each state are crazy! these people that run our governments are so out of date, unorganized, and not centered around finding qualified candidates. It really seems to me that a lot of the people I work with are scared to change their recruitment processes or evolve with the changing technology. That really scares me that state and local governments don't realize that they ARE competing with the public sector for top performers. People want stability especially in this economy!!! However, not all are like this, just the ones that bitch about spending pennies on the dollar for product they are only slightly using at it's potential! *end rant*
One REALLY REALLY cool thing about this job is the travel. So since I do all the training and performance with each account I get to travel. I am booked to go to Kansas next week. I'm not too thrilled about that, but NYC is coming. That might be the end of this month and that would rock! We signed a deal with the agency that hires for the whole city. All expenses paid, I'm good with that! Others are in the works like ALASKA!! That would be in September. We have several deals that started this week and my sales guy is hoping to get a meeting with the governor, how freaking SWEET!! With this job I have the ability to go to all 50 states.
This job can help me get my name out there in the company. The government area is so mixed up and chaotic do to a disconnect from the expectation of the company and the functionality or DIS- functionality of our clients. Either way the corporate office is in Chicago and I'm really wanting to move away from Georgia. This heat is killing me this year. 100 degrees today. I'm done. I'll trade for ice and snow. What would bring me there would be a role in the Marketing department. That way I could use the marketing degree and or management degree. Either way I'm happy I have this job.
So yeah the government, we are part of the Enterprise East team, but still just the 3 of us. Everyone I work with is under 40 years old which is cool. Every day we have trivia and our last team outing was at the lake drinking beer and eating.
So my life in the last year....oh jesus!
That is my dog Dolly
I got her about a year ago back when I met the love of my life. John Sweet. God where would I be without him. We met in August of last year. One conversation and I was hooked.
We are a lot alike. He worships the ground I walk on and loves my dog sometimes more than I do. He has his own thoughts on life and we share most of them. It's nice to have an adult conversation about current events with someone who has read alternative forms of media and make fun of political leaders.
I went up to Vermont last week to meet his parents and old friends. We talked about getting married and having kids. 2 years was our agreement and it is so nice to be with a man that thinks about the future and what is important to him. He is not perfect by all means, but I do fully trust that whatever happens we will get through it.
Lets see right after him and I got together I got custodial rights to my littlest sister Karen. So having a 15 year old for 9 months was an experience to say the least! God damn...just let your mind ponder on that..it was even deeper...and John stayed right by my side, was my rock the whole time. My friends were there, but he pushed for the position.
So after graduation I got the job and moved into a 2 bedroom, just Karen and I, and that is where I was robbed and my car stolen. So needless to say it's been really hard for me. I had my dog with me and Karen had JUST gone back to live with my parents, so thankfully no one was hurt. But FUCK my computer, identity, integrity, safety, and stability were taken from me twice. I moved to Sandy Springs in April that way I could be closer to John and in a better location. I like it, but 400 sucks because of the tol into the city.
I also have a second job at a doggie bakery. www.tajmahound.com
I'm there on the weekends so yes I'm tired, but at least I can bring in Dolly and see her.
So yea thats been a journal entry about the last year....pretty damn long.
I should keep up with this,but I never bought another lap top and I'm so busy at work I forget the internet has other stuff than research and articles. lol |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jul. 21st, 2007|08:18 pm] |
depression. I thought I was stronger than it...I was wrong.
I have a hard time getting oud of the house. I only leave to do what is required and what I promise to do. I hate feeling like this. I feel lazy, fat, worthless, sad, and more emotions that even typing them makes me feel worse :(
I don't sleep well. I haven't slept well since Tom visited. That was heaven. I felt like something might actually start after we told eachother the truth about our feelings....only to hear him say that he is not ready to be with me...so I guess I'll wait another 7 years
Something positive....I have tickets to Dave Mathews and Bjork...guess thats good news
I'm done with Marketing in 3 weeks
Ill be in Florida for a few days than going to see Tom...
I miss my old self. Maybe it's because I'm more aware of things and a lot more careful, but there are many nights, like tonight where I had plans and I had to dump them becuase I wouldn't be good company...
Bloah
I think I just need to get laid....thats it right there! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2007|08:05 am] |
i write in my myspace blog
but a question
ANYONE GOING TO BIGDAYOUT OR MONSTER BASH????????? |
|
|
| pick a side |
[May. 1st, 2007|10:47 pm] |
It was a day of high political drama, falling on the fourth anniversary of Bush's "Mission Accomplished" speech declaring that major combat operations had ended in Iraq.
In only the second veto of his presidency, Bush rejected legislation pushed by Democratic leaders that would require the first U.S. combat troops to be withdrawn by Oct. 1 with a goal of a complete pullout six months later.
"This is a prescription for chaos and confusion and we must not impose it on our troops," Bush said in a nationally broadcast statement from the White House. He said the bill would "mandate a rigid and artificial deadline" for troop pullouts, and "it makes no sense to tell the enemy when you plan to start withdrawing."
Democrats accused Bush of ignoring Americans' desire to stop the war, which has claimed the lives of more than 3,350 members of the military. |
|
|
| figures... |
[Apr. 29th, 2007|09:59 am] |
I survived the busiest week of my life.
2 papers, 2 presentations, 1 92 page report. The whole week I thought I was just having HORRID cramps..I suck it up only to get out of school Wednesday night and go to the ER in Alpharetta. I go. I sit. I chicken out after they want to run all these tests on my stomach. I go back to Ann's and sleep. I wake up even worse.
(thurs) I'm shaking and nasuated. I felt like I was getting sick. I drove home. Gathered up some things and headed back to the North Fulton ER. My parents met me there. They did several tests over the 8 hours I was there and sent me home unable to diansos me. All I know is my blood platelets are dropping into dangerous levels
Next day (Friday) I have 3 doctors apts they made for me while I was in the ER. I felt more weak than before and Ann called to check on me. Before I even asked she was volunteering to leave work and drive from Alpharetta to Atlanta than back up to North Fulton medical center. I got more tests, and went to a gastrointestial specialist(intestinedoctor) and a oncologist (blood doctor). They say its dangerous if i leave the house...
They have their own tests set for next week. I have to get a colonoscopy (anal probe) early next week, hey are going on for my BONE MARROw Thursday in hope of finding why my platelets are so low
I'm scared. I dont have health insurance. I dont know what to do.
I have finals next week and they want me to reschedule them. They have notified my work I'm out for 2 weeks. I can't leave the house because of my condition...
I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, I really am. I'm going to take my finals even if my school has me do them in between my doctors tests..
either way I'm home for days on end and bored already. I cleaned the house slowly. I've got to keep a positive and hopefull attitude
This makes me smile..now I have two calendars..one for me and school..shit thats tough
http://www.artstarphilly.com/shop/sale/halsey04.html |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Mar. 13th, 2007|11:51 am] |
We've moved. We now have internet. Thank god
Been MIA from people..dunno why. Just that things are changing
Not on purpose....just happened |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2007|11:10 pm] |
|
i hate valentines day |
|
|
| so very true |
[Jan. 30th, 2007|05:33 pm] |
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
You may be more serious than usual as you try to understand your emotional and circumstantial limitations. It could be challenging to be as optimistic as others expect you to be, but don't waste energy worrying about it. Look back over the past few years to see how the obstacles you overcame made you stronger. Then forget about what anyone else thinks and do what you know must be done. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 30th, 2007|02:51 pm] |
I couldn't be happier.
Things seem to be working out.
Got a lot to be thankful for and even more to be looking forward to |
|
|
| she keeps on waiting for time out |
[Jan. 20th, 2007|09:34 am] |
Life
I'm growing as person. I know and imbrace it. I can feel myself becoming more confident and independant.
I've learned that I cannot control anything. I really can't. I can contribute to conflicts or situations , but in the end god will sort it out.
I'm loosing the will to continue some behaviors only because I'm the only one trying. Its sad too. Yet, again another situation where I need to leave it alone and if let god sort it out. It still hurts because I take it personal.
I did however get a reality check earlier this week. Seems I'm not the only one in this same crazy state.
Maybe something will work out there.
Went to David's party tonight. He was drunk and introduced me to everyone something like this "this is Andrea. She's the best business woman at GSU and she will make millions" I almost shit my pants. But I did smile and crack a joke about how drunk he was. ha ha queers...
Interpol pretty much owns my CD players..the end
I'm going shoe shopping |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2007|08:07 am] |
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
You must be as practical as possible now in order to counterbalance someone else's fuzzy thinking. But you could just as well be the ringleader of an unrealistic scheme. Either way, you have a lot to lose if you let your unbridled imagination run away with the facts. A grounded outlook on your life will sustain the new stability that you are creating.
I am the ringleader. I seem to build things up in my head like a story. I live in this fantasy world when reality is trying to stare me straight in the face. Why is this right twice in one week? |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 17th, 2007|01:49 pm] |
Sigur Ros
Oh how I love you
why am I so stupid?
The next four months will be a stage of enlightenment
I really need to focus on school, myself, and my health.
I need to stay focused and not indulge in too much free time.
I have to get more active in the community and with business connections.
I want sushi
BAD
I found my $20 coupon RuSans gave me for my birthday
maybe I'll take an old friend out...
I have the strongest feeling I may only be in Georgia for another 2 years |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 16th, 2007|01:36 pm] |
man our country just keeps getting into shit with the rest of the world.
Blah
Picked my presentation topic
Democratic Sen. Barack Obama
I think my class needs to know about this man. He may well be our next President
Class later
can't wait. I have a feeeling about this year..its my year |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 13th, 2007|01:53 am] |
oh homework already
I need a vacation from work
I need this loan to hurry up and process
than I'm taking more time off
I can't seem to shake this feeling
I think I'm being lead off a cliff
Oh wait I see the road dropping off
I've learned what to look out for |
|
|
| If you can see this your among the few |
[Jan. 2nd, 2007|11:26 pm] |
So here's the deal....
I need some truth
What do I do wrong?
I seem to be let down after each relationship. Either they stop acting like they can keep me satisfied, or they just can't. Do I expect to much to fast? Or is it I can't seem to find a guy willing to let go of the past pain, insucurities and jump hand in hand for the relationship? God I kinda feel like I've just taken these could be friendships into something other of us aren't ready for, something based on an attraction to the motional and physical attributes. Guess I answered my own questions...
It's amazing what a few days away can do for your sanity |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 2nd, 2007|11:10 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Interpol...antics | ] |
So I'll give you a monthly update..the past few entries have been alcohol or depression induced. So here's the deal
I'm in Chicago. I couldn't be happier. The past two days have been so peaceful and calming. I need to visit with them more offten. I think summer sounds good..actually we through around the idea of me meeting them in New York in October when my aunt completes her 3 day AVON walk. A four day weekend...perfect.
I saw my aunts office. JESUS corner office ont the 39th floor.
We spent the day walking down Michigan Ave. and State St. We went in every store I wanted to go in. I bought a KILLER DRESS at Macys for 26 bucks!!!!! Yes people me a dress... We went into H&M. It was a zoo. I heard were getting one in Atlantic Station which is AWESOME! Caught the sunset over the city atop the 95th floor of the Hancock Observatory while drinking a "Skyscraper" cocktail.
The pictures are so great...I'll post them later.
Tomorrow is another day of activities
Chao |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
xamazongoddessx's journal
